Amazon changed the game. Two-day shipping, sometimes next-day, sometimes same-day — and yeah, we all got spoiled. But before Prime rewired our brains, there were really only three names in the delivery game: USPS, UPS, and FedEx. That was it. And now, even though UPS and FedEx do a ton of hauling for Amazon, the service still feels like the same broken machine, just painted in different colors.

Case in point: I’ve got a 100-pound box making its way from Florida to Wisconsin — speakers, because after weeks of building shows on headphones, I need the real sound back. UPS promised me a delivery window today between 10:15 and 1:15. At 9:32 this morning, the tracking page proudly announced “out for delivery.” And that was the last time the system bothered to update.

By 1:15? Nothing. By 3:00? Nothing. By now? Still nothing. No call, no knock on the door, no sticker on the building. Just radio silence.

Here’s the kicker: I live in a secure building, like anyone who doesn’t want their packages stolen. Which means delivery drivers have to buzz, call, or let me know they’re outside. That’s not rocket science — Amazon does it every day. USPS figured out how to send alerts. Hell, the pizza place two blocks away will text me when my order is “in the oven” and again when it’s on the way. But UPS? The best they can do is a crusty web page that looks like it was coded in the Netscape era, with a tracker that basically says, “Yeah, good luck.”

I don’t expect miracles. I don’t expect the driver to carry a hundred-pound box up to my unit and tuck me in with it. But is it too much to ask for a heads up? A text that says, “We’ll be there in 30 minutes.” A call saying, “Hey, we’re on the way.” Something. Anything. Because without that, I’m stuck scrambling to line up help, and if I miss them, that box is just going to sit in the mailroom until I figure it out.

It’s 2025. We can order a cheeseburger from our phones and track it down the street in real time, but somehow UPS still can’t reliably tell me when a truck is going to stop in front of my building with a package that weighs as much as I do.

Come on. Do better.

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