If you are currently looking at the “shit pile” of snow outside your window in Eau Claire and wondering who to blame for this late-season disaster, look no further.

It’s me. I’m the problem.

A few days ago, when the temperature climbed and the pavement actually started to dry out, I let my guard down. I looked at the horizon and said the forbidden words: “It’s fucking done. The snow is done. We’re not gonna get any more snow this year.”

The universe heard me. It waited until Sunday morning and then dumped a relentless, non-stop wall of white bullshit on us just to remind me that I don’t run the weather. Everyone is “joking” that I jinxed it, but we all know the truth. I challenged the sky, and the sky responded with a blizzard. It’s paused right now, but apparently, the second half of my punishment starts at 6:00 PM.

The 3,000-Year-Old Life Hack

While I’m sitting here in snow-induced house arrest, I’ve been thinking about Bacon.

We treat it like the cornerstone of a proper breakfast, but it’s actually an ancient strategic asset. If you go back about 3,000 years (around 1500 BCE) to Ancient China, you’ll find the origin story. While the rest of the world was still struggling with basic survival, the Chinese were already perfecting the art of salting and curing pork bellies.

They figured out the ultimate life hack: salt and fat don’t just taste good; they preserve. It took three millennia to get to the strips we throw in the pan today, but the logic remains the same. It’s the original survival tech.

The Friday Frequency

Finally, a quick update on the writing.

I recently posted a very sensible, professional-sounding update about my book project. I said I’d be putting up chapters on Fridays, but I made sure to give myself an “out.” I told everyone I wasn’t going to commit to every Friday because, you know, “life gets in the way.” I was trying to be responsible and manage your expectations.

I was wrong.

Apparently, once I start the transmission, I can’t find the off switch. The writing is happening whether I planned for it or not. I’ve looked at the queue, and it turns out you’re getting a chapter every single week for the next eight weeks. So much for “not committing.”

Stay warm, don’t say the word “spring” out loud until at least July, and eat some ancient salted pork.

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