Let’s get one thing straight: today’s Supreme Court rulings didn’t come quietly. They handed the executive branch more unchecked power, gave a big green light to cherry-picked parental “rights” that conveniently erase inclusion, and reminded everyone that your privacy is basically a punchline if you dare to enjoy adult content online. First up — the birthright citizenship order. The court didn’t even touch whether Trump’s plan to deny citizenship to kids born here is constitutional (spoiler: it’s not). Instead, they made sure that if a president wants to push through something huge and wildly unconstitutional, a single federal judge can’t slam the brakes on it for the whole country anymore. Now it’s piecemeal lawsuits, slow-bleed justice, and more room for bullshit to spread while people scramble in every circuit court. And let’s be crystal clear here: the Constitution is not up for debate on this one. The 14th Amendment straight-up says “All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens.” End of sentence. No fine print about your parents’ paperwork. Born here? You’re an American. That’s it. The whole damn point was to stop politicians from deciding who counts — but here we are in 2025, wasting breath fighting a fight our ancestors settled 150 years ago. And while we’re at it — let’s remember why federal courts even exist. They’re supposed to stand between you and a president who decides to play king. A nationwide injunction is the emergency brake: one judge sees a runaway power grab and yanks the lever before it steamrolls the whole country. By gutting that tool, the Supreme Court just told every president, “Go ahead — blast out whatever sweeping bullshit you want. It’ll take years for the courts to untangle it, so do your damage now and let the lawyers clean up the ashes later.” And don’t kid yourself — this isn’t just about birthright citizenship. Strip away the quick stop, and the next time a wannabe strongman wants to pull the martial law card or drop a national crackdown “for your own good,” there’s nothing standing between you and the bulldozer. The federal courts were supposed to be the fire alarm. Today, the Supreme Court locked the fire extinguisher in the basement and threw away the key.

Now let’s talk about Texas. Apparently, Texas woke up, peeked at your browser history, and decided they’re your new mom. Because nothing screams “freedom” like a state demanding you hand over your real ID just to see a naked person online. Here’s the truth: everybody looks at porn. Even the ones who swear they don’t. Everyone wants to get off — and if you don’t, maybe get that checked out because that’s a bigger problem than an adult website. We used to sneak our dad’s Playboy, stash a Hustler under the mattress, or buy a gas station magazine off a sketchy rack. Then the internet came along and porn got blasted out for free — ad money and traffic replaced shrink-wrapped tapes and shady back rooms. But Texas? Nah. They want you to verify your age with government ID every single time you want to watch a video — “to protect the kids,” they say. Please. 14-year-old boys have been finding boobs since the dawn of time. They’ll steal your ID, find a VPN, or stumble into the shadiest corners of the internet just to see the same thing they could’ve clicked safely five seconds ago. Congratulations, you didn’t stop anything — you just made it riskier and dumber. All you’ve really done is turn every adult’s private sex life into yet another database waiting to get hacked, leaked, or sold. And for what? So a bunch of moral crusaders can pretend sex is dirty while doing the same shit behind closed doors. Texas, get off your high horse. You didn’t save a single kid. You just made the internet a bigger mess.

And then there’s the big “parental rights” win. Sure — every parent technically has the right to say “I don’t want my kid reading that.” But let’s stop pretending this is about protecting kids. It’s about controlling them. Has anyone ever met a teenager who doesn’t immediately crave the one thing they’re told they can’t have? Tell a kid “Don’t read that book about two men in love” and they’ll either sneak it under the covers with a flashlight or grow up so sheltered they’ll melt the first time they meet an actual LGBTQIA human being. And guess what? The real world is full of queer folks, poly folks, kink folks, your neighbor who probably has a furry costume stuffed in their attic — and none of that affects your mortgage or your precious HOA lawn sign one bit. If you’re the parent yanking your kid out of class to protect them from a rainbow on a page, congrats — you’re raising either a rebel who’ll tell you to get fucked at 18, or a fragile adult who’ll break the second they step outside your bubble. And honestly? Either one is better than raising another bigot in your image. Stop lying to yourself. You’re not shielding your kid from “harm.” You’re shielding your own fear that they might grow up kinder, smarter, and more compassionate than you ever were. If your biggest nightmare is your child learning queer people exist? Good. I hope they learn it twice as fast, look you dead in the eye, and say “Guess what? I read the book anyway. And you can get fucked.”

So there you have it. Three rulings. Less freedom for you, more power for them, and more excuses to control whoever they decide deserves controlling next. If you’re not pissed off yet, you’re not paying attention.

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