A bed-to-chair transfer derailed by a sneeze-hurricane broke a reacher-claw cord. Tools arrived zip-tied together until my girlfriend snipped both ties like a precision ruler. Add disability to a device name and the price explodes. Laughing at yourself is mandatory hardware. This is the Gospel of the Gimp Stick.

ock ’n’ roll didn’t collapse in one dramatic moment—it slowly eroded under shifting culture, digital noise, and a generation that no longer finds rebellion in guitars. This manifesto takes a hard look at the death of the garage band, the rise of hip-hop, the algorithmic takeover, and the moment a 14-year-old called Limp Bizkit “classic rock,” forcing us to confront what rock once was, what it became, and whether it can ever rise again.

After nearly eight years away from winter, I looked out my window today and saw white stuff falling from the sky. It took me a second to remember it’s called snow. At first it looked peaceful, almost magical — until I remembered what it really means: salt, slush, and the lurking terror of getting my wheelchair stuck in a snow drift just trying to grab coffee at QuikTrip. Welcome back to Wisconsin, where the sky hates you but the coffee’s still worth the risk.

After eight years of living in houses, I forgot how thin apartment walls can be. At 3:45 in the morning, I woke to the unmistakable sounds of enthusiasm from the neighbors upstairs — complete with creaking bed, rhythmic thumping, and plenty of moaning. By the time the “series finale” ended around 5 a.m., I was equal parts exhausted, amused, and reminded that apartment living comes with… perks.

I’ll probably lose my metal card for saying this, but Taylor Swift’s new album The Life of a Showgirl is damn good. Blame Amber for getting the hooks stuck in my head. Between discovering pop that actually hits and replacing my dead 25-year-old Alesis monitors with KRK Rokit 5s, I’ve been reminded that music doesn’t care about genres—it just needs to make you feel something.

Amazon may have spoiled us with two-day shipping, but when it comes to UPS, FedEx, and the rest, delivery is still a mess. Waiting on a 100-pound box with no call, no text, and a useless tracker shows just how broken the system really is in 2025.

Leaving Florida wasn’t about politics — it was about survival. Years of fighting broken accessibility wore me down until I couldn’t do it anymore. In Eau Claire, I’ve found space to breathe, bridges to cross, and a city still shaping its own story. This is about reinvention, community, and the details that make or break everyday life.

I didn’t fall off the face of the earth—I just got stuck ten feet in the air on the side of a Greyhound bus, stranded at Dutch Mill, rescued by a guy named Alpha, and accidentally moved to Eau Claire. It’s cheaper than Madison, the apartment’s mostly accessible, the ethernet jack was wired by a drunk raccoon, and Rolling with Scissors is back just in time for the pledge drive.