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Chronicles

Chronicles, Uncategorized

The 40-Year Tailspin: Reality, Math, and the Danger Zone

I saw Top Gun in the theater in 1986. Now it’s 40 years later and the math is officially trying to kill me.

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Chronicles

The Flavortown Gauntlet: Why I Almost Started Swinging

Someone told me Guy Fieri bought State Street Brats and I was ready to start swinging. Turns out, the fine print is the only thing that saved my blood pressure.

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Chronicles

The Great Olive Salsa Crisis of 2026

The Farmers Market is open and the sun is out, but there’s a major problem in Eau Claire: I can’t find my Becki’s Olive Salsa fix anywhere. Becki, where are you hiding the goods?

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Chronicles

Hollywood’s Greenest Initiative: The JAG ‘Top Gun’ Fan Edit

I woke up three times during the JAG pilot, and every time I did, I saw Maverick. Discover how Paramount’s leftovers built a legal drama and launched the NCIS franchise.

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Chronicles

The Great Eau Claire Pivot: From Shakes to IPAs

When you set out for a simple ice cream shake and end up in the middle of Food Truck Friday at Phoenix Park, you don’t fight it—you grab an IPA and lean in.

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Chronicles, Uncategorized

The Highway Hall of Mirrors: If Your Car Could Actually Talk

Ever wondered what your car would say if it had a mouth? From the silent judgment of EVs to the mid-life crisis of a 911, we’re tearing down the automotive ego.

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Chronicles

The Beach in Your Pocket (And Why We’re Running Out of It)

From “sand mafias” to teaching rocks how to think—discover the hilarious and terrifying reality that your high-tech life is built on a dwindling supply of dirt.

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Chronicles

The Evolution of the Asylum: Welcome to Padded Sell Studios

When you line your walls with enough acoustic blankets to look like a psychiatric patient, you name the studio accordingly. Welcome to the evolution of Padded Sell Studios.

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Chronicles

The Finance Guy from Nowhere

While working on the next chapters of Signal Drift, this “Gray Man” profile popped out of the static. Meet the “Finance Guy” whose life is the ultimate redacted document.

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Chronicles

The Ian the Shark Profiler Crisis (And Other Mobility Hazards)

From the “Denim Ring Toss” to FBI profilers who should be playing heavy metal, life is getting weird. Here is why I can’t take Joe Mantegna seriously anymore.

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